Do you ever have those days that you think” Is this it? Is this how my life is going to be?” Today has been one of those days for me. I open my Facebook or Twitter or my email and see posts from Fibro Blogger’s and instead of feeling understood or like there is a whole community on my side, I feel alone. I know that we try and focus on being positive and negativity just brings us down more, but do you ever just want to scream at the top of your lungs “I want to feel normal again!!!!!”? Or is it just me?
Everything is so much harder with fibro. See I moved in May. It wasnt planned and it has been hard as h-e-double hockey sticks! I have boxes upon boxes still unpacked. I can barely get one or two done per day. I still have to cook, clean, take care of my teenager and my volunteer stuff and try to be positive! Right around the time I moved actually just before, I was having side effects from all my meds. So my doctor and I decided to pull me off several. And they were all for my pain. So now on top of everything else I am hurting so much more then I did several months ago.
I have also had depression my whole life and that is so much harder to deal with, with fibro. If I feel sad or discouraged I end up kicking myself for having those feelings because if you ask anyone they will say its much harder to deal with if you have those thoughts. Be positive! Look at the positives! Theres a reason for everything!
On a day like today I just want to scream at those people SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO CRY! So here I am….writing today…crying today……I give you permission….let yourself feel it and if you are reading this cry with me today……Give yourself permission….then tomorrow…pick yourself up…focus on the positives….believe there is a reason for everything……